Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

According to worrying new research, scientists have identified a strong new strain of fact-resistant people that are endangering the Earth's capacity to support life.

The University of Minnesota study finds a virulent strain of individuals that are practically impervious to any type of verified information, leaving experts baffled as to how to counter them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive. As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists do not have a strong understanding of the mechanisms that prevent fact-resistant individuals from absorbing facts, they speculate that the strain may have gained the capacity to intercept and reject information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reiterating the study's gloomy findings, Logsdon expressed optimism that the threat of fact-resistant people may be minimized in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.